A Page From My Diary....

23rd January 2006
23:01

I found a superhero in me today.

I saw the movie Spiderman today for the first time. It was coming on HBO. While watching that movie I saw a striking similarity between Peter Parker and myself-our thoughts, our looks, our beliefs, our sacrifices, our lives and our love....

Like Peter Parker I wear a frame on my glasses which my friends often say belong to the era of grandfathers. It is black in colour, thick framed and covers half of my face. My friends often make fun of me, but I like wearing them. I personally don't like those rectangular frames. Like Peter Parker even I have an urge to look nice with a prime motive that the girls walking past make a notice of me, the same way they make notice of Pranav Mittal, whom every girl wants in the school. Peter Parker has a secret world of his own in which he lives, when he is alone. Even I have two sides to my personality: one that I show to the world when I am in my class or with my family at the dinning table and the second when I am all alone in my room, behind the closed door. Like he is a subject of humor, even I am a subject of humor all the time among my classmates. And like him, even I have a "Marie Jane" in my life, she is my close friend and the way I feel for her, I don't feel for anyone else in the world.

Dadaji expired last December, and I remember during his ill health days, he often used to tell me, that there are very few men in this world who live for their dream. He said that although every one dreams while they live, but very few live for their dreams. And those who live for their dreams, they know that they are here on this planet for a special purpose-to fulfill their dreams. Only last week after I got up in the morning, I realised that I am here on earth for a special purpose and the God has given me that power-a strength to live for my dream. I dream to be a Soldier. I dream about it all day and night, since my childhood. Every time I see a movie based on army, it moves me. I am here on earth to fight for my country, to save it from the enemies and may be die performing my duties....

It was my farewell day before yesterday, when Shagun came to me and told me something that I was waiting to hear all my life.

She told me that I mean a lot to her. She feels incomplete without me. She can't think of living her life without me and she realised all this when our school was off during winter vacation. She loves me. The way I took care of her, she confessed no one ever has ever taken care of her. And she went on....

And as she was speaking, I quietly turned back and started walking away from her. And while I walked away, a tear came trickling down my eye. I could not tell her how much I waited for this moment all my life but I could not not be hers because I am here for some other reasons. I was born to be a soldier and can't give her a false promise that I will be with her all my life, because life of every soldier is written on the bullet of enemy. I can't be hers.

As Uncle Ben said "With great power, comes greater responsibility"