Amba

“Salva, my soul has surrendered to your love and it would not accept anyone else other than you” said Amba as she placed her head on Salva’s chest. They sat beneath a peepal tree on the banks of river Ganga in Kasi.

King of Kasi had planned a grand Swayamvar for his three young daughters - Amba, Ambika and Ambalika. But Amba secretly loved King Salva.

“Amba, I love you more than anything else on this earth. I promise you, I will win you in Swayamvar tomorrow” said Salva reassuring Amba.

Despite of Salva’s promise, Amba had a premonition that something inauspicious would certainly happen at the time of Swayamvar.

*******

“I openly challenge everyone present here. If any one of you has courage, try to stop me from taking these three sisters away with me to Hastinapur” announced an unexpected voice in the royal court where Swayamvar was underway.

“Who is he?” Amba asked her sisters petrified of his sudden appearance.

“He is Devavrata, Prince of Hastinapur” replied Ambalika.

“People say he has taken a vow to never get married or even get laid with any woman all his life!! That is why people call him Bhishma, referring to his lifelong oath of celibacy” added Ambika.

“Then why is he here? Has he broken the vow?” wondered Amba.

Bhishma had travelled from Hastinapur to Kasi to find a bride for his step-brother and the crowned Prince of Hastinapur, Vichitravirya.

Bhishma was not only an unparalleled archer and warrior but was also blessed with a wish-long-life. He would die only when he would decide himself that it was time for him to go. Therefore no one in the royal court dared to raise his voice against Bhishma, except one.

“Oh Mighty Bhishma, you can take the other two sisters, but leave Amba here. Amba is mine. I love her” Salva resorted for his love.

Salva was hardly a contest for the great Bhishma. In the swordfight, Salva did not last even for 15 minutes. Bhishma defeated King Salva and spared his life.

Bhishma abducted the three sisters.

*******

“Oh Bhishma, the most benevolent of all, truth is that even I love Salva and I have taken a vow to spend my entire life with him and only him” Confessed Amba, after the troupe of Bhishma reached Hastinapur.

“Salva? He is a loser” Bhishma said rejecting Amba’s plea.

“Yes I agree he lost to you but he stood against you… and challenged you… which no one else in the entire court dared to do. He did all this for our love. He is my hero”

Vichitravirya took pity on Amba and asked Bhishma to let Amba go to King Salva. Bhishma arranged transportation on the order of the King, for Amba, to King Salva’s kingdom. But King Salva refused to accept Amba.

“He insulted me in front of so many people in Swayamvar!!” said King Salva referring to Bhishma.

“First he spared my life to prove his greatness to others, now he has sent you back to me because you were of no good use to him!!”

“I am Man and a Man does not live on anyone else’s pity. Moreover you were away with him for so many days, how do I know what all transpired between Bhishma and you. You are beautiful enough to make him forget his vow of celibacy”

Amba couldn’t believe those words came out of Salva’s mouth. Disheartened, Amba went back to Kasi. 

But now her father also refused to give her place to stay in the palace.

Amba decided to return to Bhishma in Hastinapur. She hoped Bhishma would accept her; after all it was him whose actions were responsible for Amba’s misery.

“I cannot marry you. I am sorry for whatever I did to you. But being a Kshatriya, I cannot break my vow. Yeh adharma hai. This is wrong” said Bhishma in his apologetically tone.

Amba could not bear this bare hypocrisy of Bhishma.

“Adharma!!! You have spoiled my life. I have nowhere to go, no one is ready to accept me and this is all because of bloody you. And over that you say you cannot help me because it is wrong to break your vow”

“You double-faced fox, you took away happiness from my life. You will see now how I take away happiness from your life”

For the next many months, Amba knocked on the door of the Kings of every possible kingdom; she asked the Kings to fight Bhishma and his army but no one agreed to fight against the mighty Bhishma for her. They were all convinced that Bhishma was invincible. And so they did not want to do anything that would earn the wrath of Bhishma and the army of Hastinapur.

Finally Parasuram agreed to fight for Amba’s cause and bring her retribution. Parasuram was Bhishma’s teacher. He had taught Bhishma the art of warfare.

The battle between the guru and shishya lasted for 23 days. The legend has it that Gods from heaven had to intervene just before Bhishma was about to kill his own teacher with the most destructive weapon which Bhishma had earned from Lord Siva. In the end Parasuram was defeated.

Amba was lonely again. She resorted to penance in the forest. Impressed with her determination Lord Subramanya descended from the sky and gave her a garland of ever blue lotuses.

“Dear Amba, I assure you, who ever wear this garland will become the reason of Bhishma’s death. And you will have your revenge fulfilled”

Having earned the license to kill Bhishma, Amba yet again knocked on the door of kings; she requested, otherwise acknowledged as “brave kings”, to wear the blessed garland and defeat Bhishma for her. But no King was ready to champion her cause.

Dejected by this world of superficial heroes, she decided to quit her life. She hung the garland on the gate of the King Drupad’s Palace, the last king she approached for help and got rejected from.

She jumped from a high cliff to death.

*******

“Bhagwaan, why did I suffer this miserable fate? Why wasn’t Bhishma punished for the wrong things he did? Why couldn’t I take my revenge?”

“Amba, sometimes you have to die in order to rise from your own ashes. Sometimes you have to die to reborn again, to believe in yourself and love yourself…. to become the person you had always wanted to be.”

*******

Amba was born again. That too in the family of King Drupad, the last King she approached for help and got rejected from. King Drupad named her daughter Shikhandini.

One day while playing in the garden of Drupad’s palace, Shikhandini’s eyes caught fancy of a garland made of ever-blue lotuses hanging on the gate.

“Remove that bloody garland from your neck, you fool” King Drupad shouted at her as soon as he saw the garland around her neck. But King Drupad was late.

As soon as Shikhandini wore that garland, there were a bright flash of light before her and the story of her last birth and misery flashed right before her. Shikhandini realised the purpose of her rebirth.

“I depended on others. That was the only reason I could not take my revenge”

“This time I will not wait for a Man to avenge my honour; because if I do, I will be again left waiting for ever”

King Drupad knew the dangers involved with that garland around her daughter’s neck. He was still not ready to do anything that would make the mighty Bhishma his enemy. So he had only one option left before himself, to save his kingdom from the army of Hastinapur. He asked the young Shikhandini to leave the kingdom at once and get lost.

Amba had barely reached puberty when she left for the forest. Before leaving she took a vow.

“I shall not return till the time I am ready and prepared to defeat Bhishma”

No one saw Shikhandini in her years of penance. She finally returned when the battle at Kurukshetra was announced.

And when she returned she was no more a woman. She returned with a body of man and physique of a warrior. Some said she developed that body by remaining under water all through those years. Some others insisted that she exchanged her sex with Yaksha and became a eunuch in the process.

*******

It was the end of 9^th day of the battle at Kurukshetra and Bhishma, the Commander-in-Chief of the Kaurava forces, was the strongest barrier that protected the Kaurava camp from impending defeat from Pandavas. Pandavas had no idea on how to defeat Bhishma.  

That night while finalising their strategy for the next day Pandavas decided to use Shikhandini.

On 10^th day of the battle before Shikhandini left for the battleground, Draupadi, wife of Five Pandavas, visited Shikhandini.

“Sister, I have come here to express my gratitude to you.  I overheard the plan of my husbands of how they plan to use you as bait to defeat Bhishma Pitamah”

“I just want to thank you for helping my five husbands avenge my honour”

“Honour?” interrupted Shikhandini. “Do you really think that they are fighting for YOUR honour?”

Shikhandini was surprised at Draupadi’s innocence.

“If your husbands wanted to avenge your honour they would have done it that very moment when Duryodhana commanded Dushasana to bring you into the court, forcefully if he must. I was told that you were clad in one piece of attire when Dushasan grabbed you by hair and brought you into the court. Why did the most powerful Pandavas remained silent then?”

“My husbands were bound by their dharma that day” defended Draupadi. “They had lost everything they owned to those cunning Kauravas in the game of dice”

“My innocent sister, which dharma on earth allows a man to pledge his own wife in a game of dice? Which dharma on earth lets a man sit helplessly while his enemy disrobe his own wife?”

“What good are those husbands for, who are otherwise considered the greatest warriors on earth, but sit quietly when their wife cries for help and justice? Even you know the Pandavas have the most lethal weapons on earth with them, gifted by the Gods themselves. And mind you they were not even physically chained at that moment.“

“A man fights for nothing, but his own pride and honour”

“The great saint Valmiki had already foretold that it will be only in this battle that Pandavas will receive the immortality for which world will remember them for thousands of years”

“Mahabharat was never about you, Draupadi.”

*******

Shikhandini was riding on a chariot driven by Krishna. As planned, Krishna cut his way through the battle ground and reached close to the chariot of Bhishma.

Bhishma at once recognised Shikhandini as Amba. He was startled. He always knew he had sinned and someday his karma would bite him back. But he had never expected it to happen this way.

Shastras preach that a Kshatriya never raises his weapon in front of a woman. Although the world recognised Shikhandini as a man, Bhishma knew that she was Amba, a woman. As a devout follower of Shastras, Bhishma lowered down his weapon.

Moreover as per the rules of battle between Kauravs and Pandavas, a woman wouldn’t be allowed to fight in the battlefield. Confident Bhishma was sure that he wouldn’t be attacked or hurt by Shikhandini as well.

But little did he know that Arjun was hiding behind Shikhandini on the chariot. As soon as Bhishma laid down his weapon, Arjun came out from behind and threw a volley of arrows at Bhishma. His body was pierced with arrows. Bhishma fell on the battlefield.

Thus as Lord Subramaniam had foretold, Shikhandini became the reason of Bhishma’s death and Amba had her revenge fulfilled.

The war stopped momentarily with the fall of Bhishma. Soldiers, commanders, Kings from both the sides left their weapons in their places and gathered near the body of Bhishma. Gods appeared in the sky to pay respect to the man who was often considered the greatest example of devotion and sacrifice.

Shikhandini also got down from her chariot and walked towards Bhishma’s body. She looked at Bhishma lying miserably and defeated on the ground. His eyes were filled with tears of pain. She leaned forward towards Bhishma and spoke.

“I was a woman; even then this world discarded me. I felt wretched when not only my lover but even my own father refused to accept me. Nobody came for my rescue even though everyone knew what you did to me was wrong. That is why I wanted to take this revenge from you.”

“Today I feel at ease when I see you lying helplessly like this…. and I regret nothing.”

*******

Shikhandini was finally killed by Ashwatthama on the 18th day of battle. She insisted that soldiers took her to Draupadi; she said she had a message for Draupadi before she breathes last.

“Draupadi” Amba spoke in a heavy voice filled with air, “Remember… if you wait for a man to avenge your honour, you will keep waiting for a lifetime”

*******

Men and Prejudices

This incident happened 2 months back.

I was coming back from my office after a tiring day. I walked up till a point from where I could catch a share-auto. For those who have never been to Chennai, share-auto is mostly like any other city auto (a little bigger in height though). They are modified to add an extra row of seating behind the normal seating area. The cushioned seat of the auto is pushed back to the rear and an additional wooden plank is added in front to accommodate more people in a single pool trip.

Usually when a stop arrives, everyone in the front row of the auto, need to get out making way for people in the rear. That day when the auto reached my stop, a lady in her mid 20s, sitting in front of me, didn't move at all.

“Ma’am, would you please excuse me?” I requested her politely. Generally the moment these auto stops anywhere, everyone in the front row involuntarily steps out of the auto. This is an unsaid instruction. But she was different, maybe someone new in the city. The young lady yielded no response to my request.

I noticed she had plugged head phones into her lobes. I repeated again, raising my voice a little more than the last time.

“Madam, move out” 

“This man is trying to touch me” Her index finger was pointed at me.

She still didn’t move an inch. On the other hand, realising that no one is getting down at the stop, autowaala slowly began to accelerate the auto.

I hate it when people plug headphones into their ears in public places and become immune to their surroundings, only causing inconvenience to people around. Irritated by her behaviour, I tapped on the edge of her shoulder this time.

“Excuse....” But I had barely finished my sentence when she suddenly became animated and shouted with terror.

“This man is trying to touch me” Her index finger was pointed at me. The auto had already picked up some speed by then.

All of this happened so abruptly that her accusation actually threw me in a self doubt if I really touched her at any wrong place.

Anna (the autowaala) stopped his auto on one side of the road immediately and asked me to come out (and the lady finally gave me way to go out).  A couple of passer-by stopped to check what had happened. While coming out of the auto I knew language would be a major barrier if I have to explain my innocence. I didn't know Tamil and autowaalas in Chennai know little English.  Castration was on the cards.

Holding me by collar, Anna had just closed his fist into a punch, when an old lady from inside the auto started blathering something in Tamil. A minute later, autowaala left my collar and got inside the auto. Passer-by left. Anna cranked his 2-stroke engine and gave race. The auto was moving again. The young lady peeped out of the moving auto and said a simple “Sorry”.

As the auto got disappeared in the traffic on ECR, I, still standing there at the spot where autowalla had held my collar tried to recover from the incident that just happened with me, or rather could have happened with me. From the sequence of events, I could guess that the older lady narrated what actually happened inside the auto.

While everyone keeps talking and writing about prejudices against women, by doing so the society also gives birth to prejudices against men.

But I still couldn't understand why would that young girl react like that? What did she think I was? What wrong did I do that made her petrified to this extent? Just because I am a guy and she is girl, does not mean I would always seek an opportunity to touch her or anyone else for that matter. Did I have any other option to let her give way for me? For a moment I thought I should chase down the auto and tell her ‘My Name is Safal Mahajan and I am not a rapist’. But then I remembered, Shahrukh’s movies do not run as much here in south.

This incident brings to light an important aspect of the society we live in today. While everyone keeps talking and writing about prejudices against women, by doing so the society also gives birth to prejudices against men. One of my female friends makes this point quite often “All men are hungry dogs” and I would generally laugh at it. Little do I realise that she is putting a label against me that isn’t easy to wash away.

Labelling anyone for that matter is wrong. It is like saying “Islamic extremists”. Extremism of any kind and type is bad, be it done by a Hindu, Muslim or a Christian. Why should we label an entire religion just because some individuals from that religion chose an extreme path?

This is important here because experts in psychology believe that by labelling an entity, human mind tends to associate those entities only with their labels (Though sometimes they have a positive affect too, like for example “German technology”). As a result, every time you talk of Islam, the first impression that most human mind will get is that of their extreme behaviour. Even “Saffron Terror” for that matter.  Saffron no more inspires Indians to think of courage and sacrifice-the reason for which this colour is on our Indian flag. On the same lines, The Delhi Gang Rape case of 2012 seems to have added a label with men-Rapist.

....by labelling an entity, human mind tends to associate those entities only with their labels.... The Delhi Gang Rape case of 2012 seems to have added a label with men-Rapist.

Even on the first anniversary of that unfortunate incident, there were pictures published in newspaper of ladies carrying placard that read,

“It is the men who are the real problem of the Indian society and not the women”

Another card read “Don’t tell your daughter not to go out, tell your son to behave properly“.

In the incident of Delhi Gang Rape (or even Mumbai’s Shakti Mill Gang Rape Case), what many don’t realise is that if there were some obnoxious men who committed the crime, there was also one gentle soul (a man) who was equally thrashed by the goons while trying to protect the lady victim. In fact if the newspaper reports are to go by, in Delhi’s case the body of the victim was lying on NH-8 for a long time before a passer-by, a man, informed the police.

The feminist groups protesting at Jantar Mantar against the anarchy of Indian Men have clearly failed to realise that the fear that has spread in the society is not a result of the mayhem created by men. Delhi Rape Case was a law and order problem. A group of miscreants could dare to do a dastardly act of this amplitude because they were not afraid of the law.

And it’s not only the feminist group holding placards at fault; the perception of the society on a whole has swayed in an “anti-men” direction. Most of us live in a bubble that “my father, my brother, my boyfriend/husband and my son are the only gentleman left in the town”. While the truth is that, even they are perceived as “potential rapist” by somebody as close as our best friends.

Is this a sign of a healthy society? No it is not. It is important to bridge this gap of mistrust between the two genders for the betterment of the present and future. And this confidence building exercise can start within our own houses. While parents need to educate their boys about sensitivity with which they should treat a girl, women should also be advised against having a pre-conceived opinion about every man in town. Also parents should stop seeding fears in the minds of their daughters that a city is unsafe for woman after 9. Walking alone, on a dimly lit, lonely road at midnight is as dangerous for a woman as it is for a man. So if daughters are unsafe in the city, what makes your son so brave?

 Parents should stop seeding fears in the minds of their daughters.... dimly lit, lonely road at midnight is as dangerous for a woman as it is for a man.

On a personal level, we should make an endeavour to stop labelling cities, colour, and habits in terms of gender (Pink is not a colour only meant for women). Women need to take a leap of faith and try to bridge the gap because fear will only spread more fear. Men, unlike women, have characteristics that make them susceptible, but blaming them for “being hungry for flesh” is too much of an accusation. Accept them for the way they are and you will feel protected. After all it was a man who was primarily responsible for abolition of what was once considered the worst curse to a woman-sati.

Just for record, My Name is Safal Mahajan. And I am not a Rapist.

*******

From The Venus II

This time on From the Venus, I write how women of our country can be of great help in making India a better place. Women are a source of a massive untapped energy that needs to be exposed in the correct way. And if this resource is utilised in the right way, we can surge ahead towards development at the speed of light.

To all my male readers, believe me, even after writing this piece of article I am very much on your side.

Solving Kashmir and Naxalism:

The issues of Kashmir and Naxalism are fairly identical in nature. Though the problem of Kashmir is graver and has been in existence since division, it shares lot of similarities with Naxalism.

The victims of both the cases are the commoners of the land who have been neglected by the successive governments that first promised them world in the name of development and then delivered nothing. The Armed Forces (Special Power) Act has made the valley a breeding ground for miscreants.

Apparently many ‘messiahs’ stood up for the poor people of these disturbed area, who showed them a new light. They promised to give what the Indian Government only promised and never give. Subsequently they pulled the masses on their side. Once the masses were on their side they gave them stones and guns to attack their enemy- The Indian Government.

I am not here to judge whether what happened was right or wrong, but now that these movements are against the values of democratic India itself, I thought its time mothers and sisters take over.

The first task that government of India needs to do the most is to get the common masses on their side and “bonus packages” are not the only way to it. The Indian Government must win them psychologically. The government can use the women power to accomplish this task. They can use the women in Armed forces, socially active women or even the journalists working in these troubled areas; let them loose, let them be themselves. If they intermingle with the local women in the area, they can help in winning back the trust of rebels by convincing the natives, what all can Government of India offer them. After all a woman is a woman’s best friend. Also psychologically it is easier to win a woman. Making two men sit and talk may be the toughest task. Where as we only need to make two women sit together, dialogue will start automatically.

Its time India uses its pawn.

Education-Population-Unemployment

These three problems are persisting at large in our country, and we must stop regarding it as an inescapable aspect of human condition. Over a very short period of time, poverty and infant mortality rate can be reduced dramatically, while gender equality and education can be dramatically advanced. World is full of such examples, and rural women of Pallakad district in Kerela along with Dr Prabhakar have proved it too.

It is no accident that the micro-credit is provided only to women. In most of the world, poverty has a female face. They experience poverty more than men. Generally when money is given to a man it seldom tickles down to the family. Women take far more serious responsibility of bringing up their children, and they bear the brunt of this task. The result is that when women are empowered, family is empowered.

Also statistics have proven that families in which women are educated have lesser children, than otherwise. Education introduces family planning to women. They use protections and take necessary precautions. They are less likely to get influenced and exploited by external factors. Also a child spends most part of the day with his mother, it is necessary that mother is educated, so that she can share her knowledge with her children and thus help in bringing up a good family and hence contribute towards making a superior society.

Overpopulation is one of the chief reasons for unemployment in the county and raising lesser number of children for increasing employment opportunities may sound childish, but it somehow makes sense if its impact is studied over a long period of time.

I conclude, educate the mothers, enhance the society.

Other side of the Indian Sports

When we talk about sports in India, the first thing that strikes us is cricket, then the Indian National Men Cricket Team. Of the 5 pages allotted to sports section in the morning newspaper, 3 pages are filled with news of cricket or cricketers (male). The other two pages are filled with news related to the loss suffered by the Indian Men’s National Team in hockey, table tennis, basketball, swimming, etc. After reading all this we wind up thinking that the Indian sports’ condition is very dismal. Now check this out.

Joshna Chinappa, India’s best Squash player, was the first Indian girl to win the British Squash Championship title in 2003 in the under 19 category. She is currently ranked 31 in the world. Anjali Bhagwat, a rifle shooter from India, won four gold in the individual and pairs events of Air rifle and Smallbore Rifle in the 2002 Commonwealth Games in Manchester. Saina Nehwal, Indian badminton player, currently ranked number 3 in the world, completed a hat-trick this year by winning the Indian Open, Indonesian Open and Singapore Open. This resulted in her rise to 3rd ranking and subsequently to No. 2 in the world. MC Mary Kom, a female boxer from Manipur and also a mother of two, came back from a two-year sabbatical to clinch her fourth successive World Amateur boxing gold in 2008, a feat that prompted the International Boxing Association to describe her as 'Magnificent Mary'. Earlier she had won the same in 2002, 2005, 2006 as well.

If that wasn’t all, Indian women's national field hockey team won Gold for three consecutive years: during the 2002 Commonwealth Games (the event which inspired the 2007 Bollywood hit film, Chak De India), the 2003 Afro-Asian Games, and the 2004 Asia Cup. Indian National Women Cricket team reached the finals of the Woman’s World Cup last year losing only to Australia in finals. Nevertheless it won Asia cup successively from 2004-06 and 2008.

In addition to that have you ever heard of any scams involved in female versions of a sport, like the male’s version? And the one that takes place are the one that is done by the male coaches of the women team.

India is on its way to become a ‘Sporting Superpower’, as far as women sports are concerned.

Taking care: from Economy to Rehabilitations:

There is a general misconception about women in India that puts different labels on them, from cultural cartoons to western wannabes. But Indian women have demonstrated stratospheric level of aspiration-85 percent aspire to do a top job, double that of their counterparts in US. While 85% women consider themselves very ambitious, only 65% of Chinese feel the same (this may be partially due to the fact that the concept of female ambition is seen though a negative prism in china, unlike in India). The childcare issues drag down the career dreams of Indian women to a far lesser degree than their western sisters. Thanks to the existence of joint families, inexpensive domestic help and an increasingly wide range of day-care option. Hence the educated women are one of the chief engines of the dynamic economy of India.

Indian woman have shown great spirits in running NGOs.The same can be used in rehabilitation work that is being carried out in various parts of India. Their sense of event management is unmatchable.

Even in politics, which was once believed to be a man’s domain, they have proven that they are capable of handling everything (other than the finance ministry).

From The Venus

As a young boy I saw my sisters and questioned myself, if boys are biologically stronger than girls? In freezing winters of Delhi, while I had an option to wear a track pant beneath my school trousers, my sisters had no such alternatives for their skirts. I would wonder who designed trousers for boys and skirts for girls, when it should have been vice verse. Obviously when boys are, by nature, stronger between the two then why not boys made to expose their legs to the cold?

Fortunately I was grown up in a family where the siblings were not differentiated on the basis of their genders. The basic rules set for we three kids (my two elder sisters and me) were the same. But I saw my other friends, the female ones, who often suffered discrimination and injustices in their family. While their brothers, younger or elder, were allowed to make mid night entries at home, curfew was imposed for them after 7 in the evening. Whenever I discussed my feelings with my mum, she would always point the finger towards our society. She would often tell me, “A family’s respect is in the hands of the ‘female’ members of the family”. As I grew up reading books, I came across a beautiful novel-The Thousand Splendid Suns. A novel about two ill fated women in Afghanistan who from childhood days had to pay the price of being a women-first to their fathers, then to their husbands and later to the society(which in this case is a fundamentalist group in Afghanistan that misinterpreted Quran). That novel shook me from my roots.

Only recently, the government of Pakistan has signed a deal with Taliban in the Swat region of Pakistan, agreeing to the introduction of Sharia Law. In the name of implementing Sharia Law, the draconian practices will be legitimized and women will be the worst sufferers. Taliban has already blown up the girl’s school and colleges in the region. Girls are punished or even killed for having careers or desiring to go to school. While scholars of Islam says neither the Quran nor the Hadith(Traditions of Prophet Mohammad) allows men to subjugate women. Nowhere it is said that women be barred from seeking ilm (education). I quote

They (women) have rights similar to those against them. - The Quran (2:28)

The implemented Sharia Law is skewed against women. The punishment for adultery is sangsar or death by stoning. Also four male witnesses are required to testify rape of a woman. I repeat FOUR MALE WITNESSES are required TO TESTIFY RAPE of a woman. And why go to other’s land, when in our own country, on the land of ‘Bharatmata’ daughters are often burned alive because they are considered a calamity. Men are free to do what they want but woman, whether in cities or villages, can’t do that. Any little self-assertion can invite physical aggression.

This brings me to another two questions that I keep asking my mum from past two decades of my existence. Why does she keep a fast on Karva-Chauth while papa has a normal 5 course meal? And why does she address papa’s parents as mummyji and papaji, while papa addresses her parents as uncle and aunty?


There is a need to celebrate the female spirit. If a mother can have the courage to kill a daughter-born or unborn- just to save her from the fate that has befallen her, the women needs to be shown that there is a choice. That her daughter can have a better life.