DREAM UNLIMITED

Every child when young has thousand dreams in his mind. Young boys often like to be a pilot, while all little princess wants to be a beauty queen. In some other cases it might be a doctor, an actor, a cricketer and a fraction aspire to be Shaktiman too. As a child grows so grows the complexities around him and he is made to realize the biggest lie of the world “one can not always get what one wants”. So the aspirations of the child wash away with time and a child who once wanted to be a doctor, now try finding out all means to get rid of his studies after passing 10+2. Some limited number still remain stick to there childhood dream, but that dream matures, for good, with time. I was one amongst the limited number.

As far as my memory goes, when I was young I often told people around me that I want to be a Commander, a character on television. Commander was a well built, with a moustache on his face, who was an Army officer. He was my hero. My craze for him was so much so that my relatives and people in my friend circle started calling me Commander. This was the birth of my dream. Years later, one fine Sunday my dad came to house and gave us a sudden surprise. He had tickets to an Oscar winning Hollywood blockbuster. I never ever had seen an English movie before. We went to see the movie. A board outside the Theatre declared the name of the movie THE INDEPENDENCE DAY and a still from the movie was put up outside that showed a gigantic object hanging on top of the Empire State Building and destroying the structure by emitting a green laser. The next two hours, changed my life forever. The film was all about alien’s plan of invading the earth, fighter planes, aerial combat, a cool black pilot whose maneuvering techniques outsmarted those of the super advanced aliens(Will Smith). At the end of two hours, I decided to be a fighter pilot. I still remember whenever I was alone with no one around I would sit on a chair and assume I was flying plane by holding an imaginary joystick and producing sound of the engine from my mouth. I fancied flying an aircraft so much that even while I was sitting on a commode to shit, I would presume I am sitting inside a cockpit and I would consider myself into a similar situation as that seen in the movie. Later I came to know that pilots for the Air Force are trained in National Defense Academy, Khadakwasla.

For the first time when I shared my dreams with my parents, I got thumped by my father. He shouted at me, “You know what NDA is? Or you just heard the name from someone?”

I took science after 10^th, even after the insistence from the closest corners of mine that I should opt for commerce as I was below average in Science. But for me choosing commerce meant “end of my dreams”. During the two years of 11^th and 12th my passion to join defense forces multiplied. One of the major factors was the movie Lakshya. I had always been compared to Hrithik Roshan by my cousins for my looks. I could relate myself with the character of Hrithik, Karan Shergill, in that film and Hrithik became my favorite actor.

By now I had began to believe that I was sent on earth by the God to be a fighter pilot. I was born to fly. When my friends were dreaming about their girls, I was dreaming about Fighter Plane. But on the other side my academic results were degrading everyday. I was often told by everyone that my initial decision of taking sciences was wrong. And this was giving my family nightmares. They had had enough of my day dreaming of joining the defense forces. What I was able to see for myself, nobody else could. So the problem arose and I became a laughing stock in my family and friends. The world, to me, had become my enemy. At times I tried convincing my self that may be what others say is right and I should grow up now. I started doubting my dreams. But there was some voice inside me that refused this school of thought. This was the time when I started writing. I passed 12^th exams somehow cribbing, crying and spoiling nights of people around. I gave NDA exams but couldn’t clear the entrance. I was yet again asked to change my line and take admission in BBA. I yet again refused and join engineering. I chose Mechanical as candidates of this branch have better options in Air Force. And chose my college, on just one parameter of it’s; It shared a boundary with Air Force Station, Gwalior. The college turned out to be a fake and my future was at stake. But I was having a ball, watching planes flying all day over my head. So much was my obsession for my dream. Meanwhile I yet again attempted for NDA.

In the month of December, my dad called me up an told me that he had received a letter from 1 Air Force Selection Board, Dehradun asking me to come for the Service Selection Board Test in February. But there was a big obstacle before me, my test dates clashed with my University Papers and I had to choose between the two. Without even a moment of hesitation, my choice was clear. I had a date with my dreams……

I started my preparations for the D-day. I ran 4 kms every morning before I exercised for another half an hour and additional half an hour in the evening. I started taking bath from cold water, to make myself tough. I regulated my eating habits. I played lot of video games to make my reflexive skills sharper. I came to know people in defense forces use lot of abusive words and I was a kind of guy, who would think 10 times before calling someone gadha. I became fluent in the weirdest abusive words. And I did all this in secrecy, not even my room-mate knew what I was up to. I was simply following my instincts. Dhoom2 was released during those days, and everyone was aware that I am a die hard Hrithik fan, hence the assumptions were quite obvious. “Safal Mahajan copying Hrithik Roshan”.

There was always some unknown Force, in the entire process that kept helping me moving forward towards my dream. As if it had hold my hands and was helping me through every elimination round of the test. From day 1 in Dehradun to the final day in Bhopal, despite of numerous obstacles I sailed smoothly. I passed the test. Although a minute formality of merit list was remaining, on the basis of which successful candidates were to be sent to Khadakwasla. Going by the records, very few unfortunate ones miss the train to Pune. I was optimistic. I was going to NDA. My dream was accomplished. I felt like conquering the world. I called up my Dad and when he asked “Who is this speaking? Is it you Safal?” I said proudly, “Nope! Lieutenant Safal Mahajan.” My act was pre-meditated.

The wheel of fortune that was moving fast in my favor began slowing down. It was 7^th of June. Merit list came out and my rank in the list was 458. I came to know that authorities in the NDA had closed the admissions at 445. For the first time in NDA, admissions were close below 600 ranks, mainly due to the new Pay Commission that was scheduled to come in the following month that would increase the income of an officer by 5 times, hence very few students had backed out. My dream was over. Later my college also refused to accept me back as it is. They demanded a hefty amount. I never gave any entrance exam for that year so I couldn’t have got admission in any other college. As expected, tension gripped my family. Everything was over for me. That Force which had once held my hands, seemed nowhere near. I wanted to cry out loud, my tears also betrayed me, not even a drop fell. I was in depression.

3 months later my dad called me up in Bangalore. Luckily I had got an admission in the Management Quota of a Bangalore college. He had received a letter from the Bhopal Selection Center asking me to appear for a selection test. I had completely forgotten that while post my NDA debacle, while my family was looking out for an alternative to bring me back from the dead end of life, I had applied for a technical course in Indian Military Academy, Dehradun. Crazy me! But the history repeated itself yet again. I had to report at Bhopal on 5^th of October, and I had my college exams starting from 4rth. I yet again had to make a decision. “What to do? What not to do?” situation kept going through in my mind day-night. But when I took decision it was just a moment and since then I never looked back. I simply closed my eyes. The first thing that came to my mind was NO.

Today I am proud of my self not because I proved others wrong, but I proved myself right. I have begun trusting my instincts irrespective of what other says. I have stopped believing in stars or omens and have become a karma-yogi. I have stopped expecting things and started believing that if you dream something in your life and you are ready to eat, sleep, and drink that, you can get what you want. I have found the elixir of life. I learned to be practical in life. I began believing in God unconditionally. Since childhood, I was living under this pre-assumption that whatever happens to me my Mom and Dad are always there to take me out of the problem. I have stopped assuming it now. I believe, it’s my fight and I must fight on. Fear in me still exists, but the newly born courage helps me to come over it. Most importantly, I have started dreaming again and that too on a much larger scale.

I know, I am not a Superman with superpowers in me. All I know is that I am an ordinary human who dared to dream, what fate had for me is a different part of the story. But I DARED TO DREAM. And believe me if I could reach my dreams, anyone else can. Dream on guys……..