Guddi-2

I must confess I am running a bit late on my schedule to put this article up on mool-dhara. Guddi-2 was always on my mind ever since I decided to write on mool-dhara again this new year. Anyway, better late than never. 

So, in this season of sequels (Dhoom 3, Nach Baliye 6 and Roadies whatever) let me present to you yet another sequel; a sequel to my January 2009 article: Guddi-2.

‘Everything that goes up has to come down’ is a famous saying. But do you know, everything that goes up fast comes down even faster? The latter exemplifies guddi. 

Do you remember Lalit Modi - the man behind IPL? Take his case. He was always associated with cricket, even before anyone ever thought of Twenty20 cricket. But one fine day he proposed a concept of Indian Premier League (IPL) before the cricket board in India. His proposal was accepted. IPL was organised and later turned out to be the biggest brand in India. Overnight he became an eye candy of everyone. BCCI revolved around him, news channels would run shows with him as the central theme. Newspapers were filled with him. Every industrialist wanted a share of him and his IPL. In short his guddi started rising.

And then as fast was his rise, faster was his fall. Series of events expelled him out from IPL. He was no more in BCCI, no more on news channels, no more in newspapers and least of all among the industrialists. That’s what guddi does to you. It takes you up fast, brings you down faster.

So here is the list of 5 such people whose guddi has been rising recently, which eventually would fall sharp (that’s not my prediction, that’s the way guddi works). If you read my January 2009 article (http://mool-dhara.blogspot.in/2009/01/guddi.html)  you will observe 5 out of 7 people on guddi list who were virtually everywhere then, are virtually nowhere today.

The list below doesn't fall under any order; I simply chose to go alphabetically.

1) & 2) Arvind Kejriwal and Team AAP:

Arvind KejriwaI’s guddi started rising the day he decided to part way with his one time mentor Anna Hazare. Days later he announced his own political party, weeks later he was fasting for

agitation against high electricity bills in Delhi, months later his posters were on Delhi’s 10,000 auto rikshaws and a year later he was the Chief Minister of Delhi. AAP and Kejriwal are the stuffs what real guddis are made of.

Arvind Kejriwal has time and again demonstrated that he has seen the hindi film, Nayak (remake of Mudhalvan in tamil) every single time it was aired on Sony TV or SET Max.

His team mates/members of AAP were no lesser on guddi than him. While Arvind Kejriwal (and to some extent Manish Sasodia, Prashant Bhushan and Yogendra Yadav) were the only face of AAP before elections. New AAP faces have quickly come in the limelight after Delhi's election, as if guddi of Aravind Kejriwal had a ripple effect on AAP's members too.

Kumar Vishwas became a hero overnight when he appointed himself as an AAP candidate from Amethi against Rahul Gandhi, even before deleting his old kavi sammelan videos from YouTube (he should have known, aam aadmi has a bad sense of humour). He even went on to challenge our Gujju potential PM candidate, Narendra Modi to fight elections from Amethi in UP. Ha ha.. When their guddi is rising, people do funny things.

Somnath Bharati was another Hrithik Roshan from Team AAP who became an overnight sensation a night after he did a Kaho Na.. Pyaar Hai with women from Uganda. I have no clue if there is actually a drug racket running in Malviya Nagar, in Delhi (I won’t be surprised if Bharati’s claims are true) but what made him break the normal protocol? He is no Batman. He went for an arrest without an arrest warrant. Pissed off National Commission for Women waited for him the next day for hours together but he was flying kites somewhere else with cameramen by his side. Oh, he loves cameramen!!! 

Coming back to Mr. Arvind “Nayak” Kejriwal, like Mahabharat’s Abhimanyu, he might know how to enter Chakraviyu but he doesn't know how to exit it. And the gurus of Hastinapur - Political and non-political will wait till his guddi stop rising, and that is when they will attack him.

3) Deepika Padukone:

Deepika and 13 are considered unlucky for most (Yuvraj Singh, Ranbir Kapoor and Siddharth Mallya and rest of the world). But last year Deepika and 2013 teamed up to prove themselves lucky, and without a doubt Deepika's guddi started rising.

Some Kanta bai's daughter's friend's mother who works at Deepika’s house supposedly told one of my sources that on 1^st January 2013, Deepika kept a new year’s resolution that she would no more do the bowkwaas party girl roles any more (apparently after more than half a decade in Bollywood and making similar kind of films again and again and again, she could do those roles even without reading the script). She kept delivering 100 crores hit one after the other all throughout 2013 - Race 2 (104 Crores) , Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (189 Crores), Chennai Express (224 Crores) and Ram-Leela (202 Crores).

All throughout the year she had some of the biggest directors coming her way and she signed the best advertisement deals. While her guddi was on the rise she was attracting everything in bollywood, even Ranvir Singh. 2014 will see her coming along with the two biggest stars in Indian cinema – Rajanikanth in Kochadaiyaan and Shahrukh Khan in Happy New Year. Lucky girl. What else does she need?

“What is Katrina Kaif’s real age?” said the lady over a (K)offee with Karan.

4) Devyani Khobragade:

Devyani's guddi started rising the day U.S. authorities charged her with committing visa fraud and providing false statements in order to bring her domestic made from India. A relatively Junior IFS (Indian Foreign Service) Officer, Devyani Khobragade was allegedly

“handcuffed in public, subjected to a strip search, and made to share a cell with drug addicts".  So what’s the big deal about it? It is a routine affair in Indo-US affairs. Not when it involves a person whose guddi is on the rise.

Unexpectedly for most Indians, Devyani’s episode changed our relations with our favourite Uncle Sam. Senior officials in government refused to meet the US counterparts, security barricades on the road outside the US Embassy in New Delhi were removed. Staffs employed by US consulates in India were checked for inconsistency or frauds. Suggestions were even made for the arrest of same-sex companions of US diplomats based on Section 377!!! It was as if, we suddenly discovered – Hey, even we have balls. Wow!!! Devyani’s guddi was rising at Sehwag’s batting strike rate. At the peak of her guddi, Devyani removed NaMo and RaGa from the front page of all national dailies!!! 

But there was something cooking underneath, after all guddis don’t rise just like that. Former President Abdul Kalam was frisked at the Delhi airport by employees of an American airline when he was travelling to New York in 2009. India’s U.N. envoy Hardeep Puri was detained at Houston airport after refusing to remove his turban in December 2010. Shahrukh Khan was detained in 2009 and 2012 in US. Why so much hoopla in Devyani's case?

Devyani is a dalit (now I see a potential political angle to much of this drama in an election year) and she also owns a house in infamous Aadarsh Housing Society (A to Z of Indian Scams: http://mool-dhara.blogspot.in/2011/07/to-z-of-indian-scams.html) . World is such a small place, isn't it?

Anyway all's well that ends well. Now that our dearest Devyani is back home from her deputation in US, what next for her? Someone prompted Big Boss 8.

5) Virat Kohli:

Well let’s face it, there comes a phase in every cricketer’s life when the cricket analyst predicts this man is going to be  'The Next Sachin Tendulkar'. In case of Virat Kohli, analyst have went a step further to say he has the Best of Sachin and Sehwag (He is the BOSS).

Now, I have no personal issues with Virat Kohli (he has never called me bhen&#@d) and being a Delhiite myself he always has my vote of liking. But all I want to say is this - Guys, let's wait. May be it’s just a phase when his guddi is rising. Don’t jump to conclusions straight away. Let him perform consistently for 22 years, to conclude that he had Sachin in him. Let him hit a six when he is in 290s to complete his 300, then say that he has Sehwag in him.

See what I am trying to impress upon is, when your guddi is rising even Aamir Khan’s lead actress is ready to fly down to New Zealand for you. It’s normal.

Have you seen him in cricket matches these days? The ball refuses to touch his wickets and fielders drop his catches. He takes wickets whenever he is given a ball, even though he is actually a batsman!!! Every ball passing him within a radius of 6 feet automatically slows down because of his magnetic field. Virat Kohli's stardom has touched new heights in the era of Lord Ravindra Jadeja.

But God forbid if someday fate does what it did with Gautam Gambhi, Murali Vijay, Rohit Sharma and Yuvraj Singh (basically your guddi starts falling) what will he do?

Virat Kohli replies back: nlm

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